It is now 8 days since I had surgery, and I'm becoming cognitively capable of sharing with you again. I want to share with you what happened just as I went into surgery.
As I was drifting away under the anesthesia, there was a brief terrifying moment when I realized that I would soon experience a period of time, measures in days, where I would lose all capacity to act or think on my own behalf. Soon, I would lose every skill and strength I had in this world. Then, as physical sensation departed, and thought began to drift away, the self that remained, the true self that remains when all else is stripped away, this self felt something. It was like a cushion of air, only it was more palpable and powerful than the brick and steel of the hospital building I knew my body was in.
This "cushion" was love, the love generated by all of the blessings and prayers and thoughts that were being sent to me by all of the people who cared. And, I knew then, with a knowing beyond thought, that love was the most powerful energy in the universe, and that this love I was receiving would nurture and sustain me through the surgery and difficult time that followed.
And now I know, in a knowing beyond words, that love, your love, the love you sent to me, is what sustained me. Without your love, I would not have made it through.
My heart is bursting with gratitude. I'm happy to still be here. And I know what got me through - your love.
Thank-you for the love.