4 July 2011
Independence day? Hardly. Today is about surrender. I'm in surgery prep, including a bowel cleanse - very unpleasant. I'm also spending the time writing, meditating, and communicating with family. It's a good day.
I realize that I must, for the next few days, completely surrender. Once the surgery starts, I will be asleep. Even when I awake, I will be physically weakened, and cognitively impaired by the medications. For some time, I will be unable to help myself in any way.
In the past, this would have scared me deeply, and I would be lying if I said I had no anxiety today. I do. At the same time, I feel myself uplifted by grace, and I see divine grace everywhere.
I see grace in the skillful surgeon's hands.
I see grace in the knowledge and commitment of the professionals who will be caring for me while I'm in the hospital.
I see grace in the loving support I've received from Cathy and my family, and in the blessings and prayers I've received from many, many people.
And I see grace in the innate healing capacity and impulse that is within me, that I know will begin to take me along a path to healing, even before I'm able to assert myself.
I feel showered in grace, and I'm grateful to be able to surrender, and to know that grace will sustain me, and that all will unfold as it should.
Independence day? Hardly. Today is about surrender. I'm in surgery prep, including a bowel cleanse - very unpleasant. I'm also spending the time writing, meditating, and communicating with family. It's a good day.
I realize that I must, for the next few days, completely surrender. Once the surgery starts, I will be asleep. Even when I awake, I will be physically weakened, and cognitively impaired by the medications. For some time, I will be unable to help myself in any way.
In the past, this would have scared me deeply, and I would be lying if I said I had no anxiety today. I do. At the same time, I feel myself uplifted by grace, and I see divine grace everywhere.
I see grace in the skillful surgeon's hands.
I see grace in the knowledge and commitment of the professionals who will be caring for me while I'm in the hospital.
I see grace in the loving support I've received from Cathy and my family, and in the blessings and prayers I've received from many, many people.
And I see grace in the innate healing capacity and impulse that is within me, that I know will begin to take me along a path to healing, even before I'm able to assert myself.
I feel showered in grace, and I'm grateful to be able to surrender, and to know that grace will sustain me, and that all will unfold as it should.
Namaste
Joe
